Hi I’m Joseph Redden (also known as the older millennial) and THERE ARE TWO THINGS I LOVE:
- Driving drunk
- Sucking off corrections officers
NEW GAME!
JOE GOBBLED A GUARD
Play the game inspired by Joseph “The Older Millennial” Redden’s experiences in the Florida Department of Corrections.
After running from the police and then urinating all over himself during his arrest, Joseph “The Older Millennial” Redden was transported to county lockup, where he met a corrections officer who made him an offer…
GOBBLE THAT HOG and I’ll let you have some commissary money!
So Joseph Redden did what he had to do. He sucked until his lips were chapped, and then he sucked some more.
PLAY THE GAME NOW!Mobile and Desktop Friendly
PLAY THE CLASSIC
DUI SIMULATOR
When he’s not live-streaming totally shitfaced, proclaiming to the world that people with developmental disabilities need to be euthanized, Joseph Redden likes to throw laws to the wind, and put the public in danger.
Join the harrowing journey of a miserable alcoholic, trying to drive home while drunk as fuck, so he can go beat his meat and think about all the women who left him because he’s a miserable sack of shit.
AVOID THE DOGS, CARS, AND COPS!
Most importantly, don’t piss on yourself!
PLAY THE GAME NOW!Mobile and Desktop Friendly
LEGAL DISCLAIMEr:
Listen, if you’re here expecting that these games are some kind of earnest biographical accounts of the public figure depicted… you probably also believe pro wrestling is real, that “The Bachelor” is about love, and that “based on a true story” means no one made anything up. These games are parodies, cartoonified, overcaffeinated riffs on a person who has chosen to live their life in the blast radius of public attention. The United States Supreme Court already decided (in Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell, 485 U.S. 46 (1988) for the legal nerds keeping score) that even tasteless, absurd satire of public figures is protected speech.
Translation: If you’re famous and upset by how you look here, that’s not defamation. It’s Tuesday. Parody isn’t a crime, it’s a constitutional sport. And as a TikTok engineer and game developer who literally makes pixels dance for fun, I’m not pretending these pixels are “the truth.” I’m saying they’re jokes. Big, obvious, neon-lit jokes.
So if you’re mad, be mad. But be mad like a celebrity being roasted, because that’s what this is. And if you still want to sue me, remember: you’re walking into a fight the Supreme Court already refereed, and spoiler alert, you lost in 1988.
-Shane Morris, President of The Deep State